Singlehander Saved by Real Doll

Bizarre news came out of Hiva Oa this morning when Dutch singlehander Alleen Lullig was rescued after his Winner 11.20 Mijn Dame reportedly hit a submerged object and sank. Initial reports from Capt. Budi Pasaribu of the 190-ft freighter Sinaga indicate that Lullig was about 200-miles off Hiva Oa after crossing from Puerto Vallarta when the accident occurred around 2 a.m. yesterday. Lullig was in his bunk at the time, and said Mijn Dame began taking on water so quickly that he had no time to inflate his liferaft or grab his ditch bag — he literally could only take what was in his hands. Luckily, his water-activated EPIRB went off and the French Navy quickly requested the assistance of nearby Sinaga. Capt. Pasaribu reported that, when they reached the coordinates, a sharp-eyed crewmember spotted something floating in the water. It turned out to be Lullig clinging to a piece of flotsam.

The flotsam turned out to be a Real Doll.

Costing anywhere between $6,000 and $10,000, Real Dolls are custom-made, lifelike sex dolls made from solid silicone. "He had wrapped the doll’s arms around him like a lifejacket and was holding on for his life," Capt. Pasaribu told local authorities. Under normal conditions, silicone would sink but Lullig claims that his doll was customized with air bladders so he could swim with her during his planned solo circumnavigation. "But I am not a singlehander," Lullig insisted. "Marijn was my first mate, my partner and the love of my life. While I am grateful to them for saving my life, my heart is broken that the crew of Sinaga refused to save her as well. I intend to bring a lawsuit against them for alienation of affection. They killed her!"

"I did not feel it prudent or safe to risk the life of my crew to retrieve the piece of flotsam out of the water," Capt. Pasaribu said in his defense. Local authorities declined to investigate Lullig’s claims of murder once the details were understood.