Mark Zuckerberg Plans Open-Ended Cruise in Mexico

Word from a local boatyard operator is that, after 15 years of running the social media giant Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg — who it turns out is a local sailor — has decided to take up cruising just “to get away from it all.” Reportedly, the goal is to keep things simple. The boat, a 1982 Islander 36, recently renamed Quietude, is to be minimally equipped so Zuckerberg, along with his wife Priscilla Chan and two daughters, can experience some real downtime off the grid.

While helping one of the yard workers clean the accumulated muck out of the bilge of the new-to-them ‘fixer-upper’, Zuckerberg reportedly told her that he really was just looking for a less distracted, more genuine life. He wants to be able to work with his hands, find a quiet cove, do some fishing and snorkeling, and see the stars again — and to get away from screens and devices. He also said he worries about the impact of the internet on his children. He complained about the relentless intrusion of texts, tweets and emails and how he feels compelled to keep up with the lives of millions of his friends. He’s never sure if it’s his best friend’s kid who has a cold or his friend’s, friend’s, friend’s friend.

Zuckerberg's Islander 36
An unconfirmed sighting of the Islander 36 Quietude. Zuckerberg intends to cruise in Mexico in his new-to-him plastic classic.
© 2019 Latitude 38 Media LLC / Rob

We heard that the work order at the yard specifies that all but the most essential electronics are to be removed. Apparently Zuckerberg wants to stick with the basics as he’ll be navigating with just a sextant and the sun and the stars. Besides, it will make the boat easier to sail and he won’t have to spend all his time trying to figure out how all this technology stuff works. The minimalist approach was meant to bring back the pleasures of his first year in college where, as he said, “it was just cool hanging out with a few friends, having a few beers together in our little dorm room and chatting about life, friendship and travel. Life was just, like . . . so simple then.”

Isla San Francisco Sea of Cortez
The Zuckerberg family hopes to drop the hook in places like Isla San Francisco in the Sea of Cortez.
© 2019 Latitude 38 Media LLC / Richard

Most of all, Zuckerberg and his wife are looking forward to having some genuine face time with each other and their children. They’re bringing along a full complement of children’s stories to read aloud including P.D. Eastman’s Go Dog Go, Dr. Seuss’ Oh, The Places You’ll Go and Crockett Johnson’s Harold and his Purple Crayon.

Harold and His Purple Crayon
Harold and His Purple Crayon (available at Barnes & Noble) was one of the first books that inspired Zuckerberg to dream of sailing peacefully to distant shores.

Ultimately Zuckerberg, after getting a few cruising miles under his belt, would like to take his family on the ultimate voyage by building a light-sail spacecraft, tentatively named StarChip, which will take the family to Alpha Centauri star system about 4.37 light years away. But, for now, being off the grid and gunkholing, swimming and sailing the Sea of Cortez with his wife and daughters just sounds relaxing and a great way to connect with nature and each other.

This story was entirely fabricated. #fakenews #threesheetstothewind

13 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Mark Anderson 8 months ago

    Thank GOD this is a BS story otherwise, I would have to sail AWAY from where I am in Mexico if Zuckerberg comes here…..

  2. Avatar
    Kathi 8 months ago

    Wait… the entire article is fake news?

  3. Avatar
    Ros 8 months ago

    Hah, this is great! I smelled a rat at the mention of an Islander 36 – a regular Joe boat. There’s nothing regular about our ol’ Zuck 🙂

  4. Avatar
    Eric Rouzee 8 months ago

    Damn. Totally sucked in, up until the StarChip business. At first I was delighted to learn that Zuck’s boat was the same size as ours. Alas…

  5. Avatar
    Vikas 8 months ago

    You need re-run this April 1 too.. 🙂

  6. Avatar
    Gene Hanf 8 months ago

    I do enjoy our stays in Isla San Francisco, but Z picking this place was hard to believe. My memories of Isla SF are better, not marked by his footsteps.

  7. Avatar
    bob huntsman 8 months ago

    Should’ve saved this one for the April issue.

  8. Avatar
    Chris 8 months ago

    Imagine rowing over to an islander 36 and seeing him in the cockpit

  9. Avatar
    John Speck 8 months ago

    He’s not actually a bad guy… sorry to say.

    • Avatar
      Marco Zuckenbergio 8 months ago

      Sure, but it exactly the person/boat you want to be around in any anchorage, surrounded by a flotilla of heavily armed security folks…

  10. Avatar
    Captain Michael Pavel 8 months ago

    Doesn’t anyone have anything nice to say. Latitude 38 magazine doesn’t lie!”

  11. Avatar
    Alan Cascio 8 months ago

    Great story! Maybe you should take up writing for a living

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