Word from a local boatyard operator is that, after 15 years of running the social media giant Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg — who it turns out is a local sailor — has decided to take up cruising just “to get away from it all.” Reportedly, the goal is to keep things simple. The boat, a 1982 Islander 36, recently renamed Quietude, is to be minimally equipped so Zuckerberg, along with his wife Priscilla Chan and two daughters, can experience some real downtime off the grid.
While helping one of the yard workers clean the accumulated muck out of the bilge of the new-to-them ‘fixer-upper’, Zuckerberg reportedly told her that he really was just looking for a less distracted, more genuine life. He wants to be able to work with his hands, find a quiet cove, do some fishing and snorkeling, and see the stars again — and to get away from screens and devices. He also said he worries about the impact of the internet on his children. He complained about the relentless intrusion of texts, tweets and emails and how he feels compelled to keep up with the lives of millions of his friends. He’s never sure if it’s his best friend’s kid who has a cold or his friend’s, friend’s, friend’s friend.
We heard that the work order at the yard specifies that all but the most essential electronics are to be removed. Apparently Zuckerberg wants to stick with the basics as he’ll be navigating with just a sextant and the sun and the stars. Besides, it will make the boat easier to sail and he won’t have to spend all his time trying to figure out how all this technology stuff works. The minimalist approach was meant to bring back the pleasures of his first year in college where, as he said, “it was just cool hanging out with a few friends, having a few beers together in our little dorm room and chatting about life, friendship and travel. Life was just, like . . . so simple then.”
Most of all, Zuckerberg and his wife are looking forward to having some genuine face time with each other and their children. They’re bringing along a full complement of children’s stories to read aloud including P.D. Eastman’s Go Dog Go, Dr. Seuss’ Oh, The Places You’ll Go and Crockett Johnson’s Harold and his Purple Crayon.
Ultimately Zuckerberg, after getting a few cruising miles under his belt, would like to take his family on the ultimate voyage by building a light-sail spacecraft, tentatively named StarChip, which will take the family to Alpha Centauri star system about 4.37 light years away. But, for now, being off the grid and gunkholing, swimming and sailing the Sea of Cortez with his wife and daughters just sounds relaxing and a great way to connect with nature and each other.
This story was entirely fabricated. #fakenews #threesheetstothewind