Really? That’s What You’d Do First

Down in the West Indies some theatergoers have a habit that’s both annoying and amusing: At tense moments in a film, it’s common for folks in the audience to stand up and coach the characters on screen. I.e.: "Look out, he’s got a gun!" "Not that way, mon, the cops are coming!" We found ourselves in a similar scenario last night — screaming at Robert Redford’s character while watching the sailing disaster movie All Is Lost on DVD. 

Yeah, we know, the film has been out for a long time, and despite the fact that (probably non-sailing) reviewers from the New York Times to Rolling Stone praised it as "a masterpiece," "amazing," and "triumphant," many sailors panned it as being inaccurate in many ways. But now that it’s out on DVD we assume there’s a new burst of viewership, so we thought we’d ask your opinion on this much-heralded flick. 

We’re not interested in inaccuracies about sail trim, and wind and sea conditions, as we’ve never seen a sailing movie that got those things right. And we don’t want to beat up on Redford — hey, who doesn’t love the Sundance Kid? What intrigues us is the order in which Redford’s character reacted to his boat’s being holed by a container. 

So tell us, if you found yourself in that situation, what are the first five things (in order) that you would have done?