The Beerfort Scale and Coarse Sailors
February 11 – Cyberspace
Yesterday, we ran Greg Sherwood’s request for a scale measuring
wind speed using beer. He sited the examples, “Force 2 –
blows the head off your beer,” and “Force 6 – you have
to sit on the cases to keep them from sliding across the cockpit.”
We asked our readers if they could point us in the right direction
and got many responses (thanks to all of you who wrote in). The
above examples are actually from two completely different humorous
scales, and they are highlighted below in bold.
Several readers pointed us in the direction
of the Beerfort Scale, on line at www.usual-suspects-sailing.com/exp-beerfort-scale.htm
Force 0: Sails hanging limp. Tiller tends
itself.
Force 1: Beginning pressure on sails. If sheet is eased out,
the tiller still tends itself.
Force 2: Sails flapping in the breeze, and boat drifting to leeward.
Sheets must be tightened and one hand put on the tiller. As the
wind fills the sails, the boat heels. Case of beer must be placed
on cockpit floor.
Force 3: The beer may be knocked over and must be supported or
held in hand.
Force 4: Empty bottles rolling against each other on cockpit
floor. Must be thrown over side. [Webmistress’s note: please
don’t do this!]
Force 5: All beer streaming behind boat must be hauled in.
Force 6: Nobody can hold onto more than one beer at a time.
Force 7: The case of beer slides back and forth on cockpit
floor. One person must be appointed to sit on it.
Force 8: Bottles can still be opened by one person. Beginning
of difficulties pouring into the mouth without spilling.
Force 9: Bottle must be held with two hands. Only experts can
get the cap off by themselves.
Force 10: Two people required to open bottles. Empties must be
thrown to leeward only. Very difficult to find mouth. Some teeth
may be knocked loose.
Force 11: The beer tends to foam out of bottle. Very difficult
to drink. Lips split and teeth fall out.
Force 12: All open bottles foam. Impossible to drink. Temporary
abstinence may be required.
Others referred us to the Course Sailor’s
Beaufort Scale at www.ccrc.sr.unh.edu/~stm/AS/Weather_Toolbox/Beaufort2.html
and www.franksingleton.clara.net/beaufort_variations.html.
They are not completely identical, but here is our extrapolation:
| Beaufort number |
Wind Speed [mph] |
Description |
For Coarse Sailors |
For use on land |
| 0 |
0-1 |
Calm |
Boats move sideways
with tide. |
Cigarette smoke
gets in eyes. |
| 1 |
1 – 3 |
Light air |
Coarse yachtsmen
hoist sail, then wind instantly drops. |
Wet finger feels
cold. |
| 2 |
4 – 7 |
Light breeze |
Tea towels blow
off rigging. |
Pubs close one
window. |
| 3 |
8 – 12 |
Gentle breeze |
Coarse boats careen.
Difficult to make tea underway. |
Pubs close two
windows. |
| 4 |
13 – 18 |
Moderate
breeze |
Coarse boats lose
mainsheet through block and have to go aground to recover it. |
Beer froth
blows off. |
| 5 |
19 – 24 |
Fresh breeze |
Coarse sailors
get book on sailing from cabin and turn up bit on reefing. |
Customers in pub
gardens go inside bar. |
| 6 |
25 – 31 |
Strong breeze |
Coarse sailors
try to double reef and go aground. |
Elderly customers
have difficulty leaving pub. |
| 7 |
32 – 38 |
Moderate
gale |
Coarse sailors
rescued by launch. |
Pub door cannot
be opened against wind. |
| 8 |
39 – 46 |
Fresh gale |
Aaaaaaah!!! |
Pub sign blows
down. |
| 9 |
47 – 54 |
Strong gale |
Coarse sailors
in public house. |
Coarse sailors
struck by falling sign. |
| 10-12 |
Only of interest on TV |
For more on ‘Coarse Sailing’, see Michael Green’s book, The
Art of Coarse Sailing.
These scales are riffs on Admiral Sir Francis
Beaufort’s wind force scale developed in 1831. For that scale
and its history, see www.crh.noaa.gov/lot/webpage/beaufort.
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