Beer Can Ten Commandments.
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Beerfort Wind Force Scale and Coarse Sailor's Beaufort Scale

Loomings

Wanderer

Quotes and Comments
Note: Most of the items in this section are submitted by readers. I generally add new ones to the top of the list - but sometimes you'll find new comments on old topics farther down, or on the new Wisdom Archive page.

"You must have this somewhere, but I didn't find it," writes Justin McCarter:
I spent all my money on booze, boats and broads. And the rest of it, I wasted. - Elmore Leonard
We have it now!

"I saw this on a bronze plaque in a marine store," says Chris Penn:
Definition: The Superior Sailor
The superior sailor is one who uses his superior judgement to avoid the use of his superior skills.

"I ran across this Robert Burton quote over 30 years ago when I was setting off to sail around the world. It has always stuck with me:
The winds are mad. They know not whence they come, nor whither they would go. And those men are maddest of all who go to sea.
Hope you like it."
Lon Bubeck, CF-37 Shaka

When you are sailing your piece of tupperware across the bay, and the ships are coming from one way and the tugs with barges are coming from another, just remember what a frog looks like in a blender. GET OUT OF THE WAY! - from Susan-Marie Hagen

Jeff Berman says, "To make your sailing weekends last longer, take your dentist sailing. As having him aboard will make time pass much slower."

Life is a voyage in which we choose neither vessel nor weather, but much can be done in the management of the sails and the guidance of the helm. - Author Unknown, sent in by Dave Mather

A quote from a offshore racing catamaran skipper:
"How can you break records with lead on your keel?" Good question.
Gregory Clausen
Santana 30/30, Wisdom (see photo above)
Corte Madera

Chris Larsen writes: "I believe the following quote is from Bernard Moitessier in The Long Way. From Garry Willis of Breezn from Marina del Rey:
I don't know the source but I keep it on my desk as a reminder.
Sailing alone soothes me because the sea is fair, not cruel. It judges only your ability. It does not care who or what you are. It does not ask your age, color, sex, address, sexual orientation, education or IQ, but only your competence. It requires only that you can sail. If you can, you survive. If you can't, better stay ashore. That's fair, more fair than most of us experience on land...and refreshing."

"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree." Spike Milligan, from Ray Thackeray

Wisdom. . . or the lack thereof:
One member in my coastal cruising sailing class said after our instructor asked what the hell he was thinking when he drove our boat into the path of a harbor cruise boat, "I just wanted to get into a situation to see if I could get out of it." Needless to say he failed the class. - Paul Clausen, San Diego

Life's too short to sail an ugly boat! Cheers from an Alberg 37 owner (Jack Vanderloo, Ottawa, Ontario)

A rebuttal to the above comment:
I may not own an ugly boat, but in agreement with the sentiments expressed by 'the Wanderer' in Latitude nearly every time someone asks, "What boat should I buy?" Buy the boat that meets your needs, not your wants (sorry if the attribution is inaccurate). My opinion, if you can't afford an Alberg, buy that ugly boat, get off the dock and go sail. - Dave Dodds

Also from Canada, Jay and Anita Bigland wonder, "How come all rocks that boaters collide with are referred to as 'uncharted'?"

Jim Revard saw this in the Hole in the Wall bar and Marina, Ketchikan, Alaska:
May the breeze be fresh and a fair one
May your life be long and a good one
May your death be easy and a quick one
May your beer be cold,
Let's have another one

Does your boat leak? Only when it rains.
“There are three types of water, freshwater, seawater and rain water. Rainwater will go where no other water can find to go.” - Jeff Berman (we know it's true!)

We discovered the following on a plaque on a wall in the old city section of
Mazatlan: "As for me, I am tormented with an everlasting itch for things remote. I love to sail forbidden seas, and land on barbarous coasts." Herman
Melville, In Mazatlan, March 28 - April 16, 1844
from Jimmie Zinn, s/v Dry Martini, Point Richmond

Ed of the Tayana T37 Maryann's Majic out of Annapolis attributes the following to renown seafarer Stephen B Luce:
The Sea is selective,
Slow in recognition of effort and aptitude,
BUT,
Fast in sinking the unfit!

A foreman mechanic at a boatyard I worked for, Richard of Richmond Boat Works, said to me once that, "Sailing is hours of mild boredom with interrupted moments of sheer terror." J. Richard MB

Dave Jackson delivers the following: "We had shaken out all reefs, and now tore along at full speed, with the spray-drift sparkling in the sun, and a frolicsome jubilant sea. The delights of going fast when the water is deep and the wind is strong - ah! These never can be rightly described, nor the exulting bound with which your vessel springs through a buoyant wave, and the thrill of nerve that tells in the sailor's heart, 'Well, after all, sailing is a pleasure supreme.'" - from The Voyage Alone in the Yawl Rob Roy by John MacGregor, 1867

John Forsyth says, "If you don't know where you are going, then don't complain when you get there."

Over the rapidly missing rum, we thought this was Wisdom
Master the boat, be not mastered by it.
Voice your skill with your ability, but always
Speak sternly to the stern
Speak pointedly to the bow,
Speak deeply to the keel
Speak loftily with the sails,
And always speak soberly over the radio!
- Mark Allen Brady, S/V Immortally Insane; Yorktown 41, Mad Captain Mark; Meghan Flannegan, S/V Rhiannon, Yorktown 39, Dread Pirate Flannegan

Frequently heard during the last 40 years of Frostbite Dinghy Racing in Belmont Harbor, Chicago: Upside down is slow. - Rick Van Mell

I'm not sure if this is printable. With much hesitation I submit, "If it flys floats or fornicates it's cheaper to rent." (source unknown) - Richard White
Richard, I'm not sure it's printable, but then this isn't print.

"There is always a guy with a bigger boat and a prettier wife." Once you accept this the happier you will be (and also the wealthier you will be). - B.G.W.

Attitude is everything. While cruising the South Pacific, we had a friend, Werner on Columbine, who would always say when the weather was rough (or anything else was not going well). "I'm glad there is a gale, because if I weren't glad, there would still be a gale." Bill Christoph, yacht Hubba Hubba

I'm quite certain time travel can be achieved by installing fluorescent lights on a sailboat. I've come to this conclusion based on how time seems to pass at a snail's pace when at the office and exponentially when sailing.
Kenneth J. Newell, Ph.D.
Vice President, Engineering
UltraCell Corporation
S/V Trim

Jim McEwen, Tequila Chica, Dana Point, has this Tristan Jones quote on his wall:
get what you can afford,
sail what you can handle,
and love what you're doing

Applies to lots of things in life including yacht refits: Good, fast and cheap. Pick any two; you can't have all three. - Capt. H. J. Earl, USCG Master, Sausalito

My stink pot mechanic, Ted Cornnut (sp?) here in Flagstaff once told me, when asked what is the single best piece of advice you can give me before I launch my boat? He said; "Never approach a dock faster than you are willing to hit it." It works. - John Bachrach (Hunter's brother), Flagstaff, AZ

Jay's Right of Way Rule
The bigger the boat the more the right of way.
Jay + Anita Bigland

"I remember reading this in Latitude 38 way back in the '80s so it can't be poetry." - Jeff Ross
Here lies the body of Micheal O'day
Who died maintaining his 'right of way'.
He was right, dead right, as he sailed along,
But he's just as dead as if he'd been wrong.

When Humperdinck Jackman entered the U.S. Navy he was taught: "There's a right way, a wrong way, and the Navy way."

Despite his wife's disapproval, Paul Ouellette quotes an unknown author: "Sailing is like a bad relationship...the costs are high in terms of aggravation, time, and money...but when she's wet and you're riding her...it all seems worthwhile."

John Reinhart writes: When people ask the question, "Aren't boats expensive?" my reply is, "not as expensive as a house... and you know a house is just a badly built boat. It won't hold water and when the neighbors get ugly you can't move it." Stolen from a Roberts boat building manual I carried around with me from my teens till I was 30 and could afford to buy one. [A house or a boat?]

This is a old one, from Gregory Clausen: "The two happiest days a boat owner has are the day he buys a boat and the day he sells it."

Just two items for a section I hesitate to name, for reasons of modesty:
1) Sailing & Spending
I am now gaining a better understading of sailboat and sailing terminology:
One can have a day spender and do day spending.
One can have a coastal spender and do coastal spending.
One can have a bluewater spender and do bluewater spending.
Of course, I guess some of us can even have double-spenders . . .
2) "There are at least two sides to every island." - David Stephens

Sailing sure beats the hell out of chasing tail pipes down freeways. - Walter Lockhart, s/v ISHA, a trailerable boat

I loved your wisdom section, maybe because I think that while sailing can be a serious venture, there is no need to be funereal about it. I don't recall the sources of these one liners, but they seem to be in keeping with the spirit of the column:
In sailing, "adventure" is what happens to the ill prepared.
Life at sea can be hell, but it sure beats the shit out of the alternative. Tom Scott, Nepenthe, Langkawi, Malaysia

In my life, I have lived on three different shores, swum in every ocean, trod every continent. It still astounds me that the only time I feel as though I have arrived, is when the final dock line is cast off. - Bill Fortner, Merchant Mariner, Chesapeake Bay, VA

When fog descends, the anchor is a navigational aid: It finds you a place where you are not sinking! - Gene Walker

Most memorable advice from my first instructor at Tradewinds Sailing School: "If you get embarassed easily then sailing's not for you." - Paul Miller

Earl's Rule #1 of sailing: "Don't spit, pee, puke or anything else off the windward side." (Our instructor Earl to a crew of 4 guys taking a 5-day liveaboard class.) - Peter Howson

One should never enter a life raft except when steeping up from the masthead. - Ann Trautwein, Redemption

Saw this quote on a crew t-shirt in Solomons Island, MD, after a race: "Second place is the first loser!" - John Rader, Cohabit

Kevin Meeks of Renaissance sent in this quote by Sir Francis Bacon, "They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea."

Said by the late Sid Bryant, an old salt and former commodore of the Royal Victoria Yacht Club to his son Dal, who was planning to purchase a liveaboard sailboat for his young family. "Son, you have to remember that people like terra firma - the more firma, the less terra." - Dal Bryant

From Jeff Ross: My friend Tom, at the age of 35 and about to embark on a lifelong cruise replied to a question about his finances, "I have enough money now to last me the rest of my life... All I have to do is not spend any of it."

After 30+ years of sailing, (some in Star boats), one of the best pieces of wisdom I have learned (the hard way) is, DUCK! - Tom Walchli

"Nothing goes to windward like a 747." - Andrew Haslam, Auckland, NZ

At sea one time, after several days of miserable weather, our Chief Cook said to me... "There are only two types of people who go to sea: Cooks and Diners." - Jimmy Langton, PO1 Cdn Navy from his lifelong bud "ffronk"

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "...holy
shit . . . what a ride!" Our Chartering Editor suggested this quote but we're not sure to whom to attribute it. If you know, email the Webmistress.
We've now had some responses to the above request. Here they are:
"I originally read the quote in Dean Karnazes book, Ultramarathon Man," wrote Chuck Fiorentino. He is a Bay Area resident and ultramarathon runner. The quote in the book is: Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: Wow - what a ride!" - Cory Layne of Tampa, FL, attributes the quote to Peter Sage, international entrepreneur and business development consultant.
Mark Wieber suggested that the actual author is Mavis Leyrer, age 83. "I have yet to find it in a book, and I hold internet information to be highly suspect." That does seem wise.

When people asked me, "How could you give up this great job/life and go sailing?" I said, "The truth is I don't have long to live." After a pregnant pause, I'd say, "In ten, twenty or thirty years, I'll be dead and I won't be able to do this!" - John Gambill, S/V Hotwire, St. Petersburg, FL

It's a little more than 20 years that as a young man I sailed around the Caribbean with Mr. Thomas 'T-Bone' Whatley, a seasoned old warrier who taught me a lot about being a mariner. He had sayings that have been proven to be so true: "In rough and rolling seas all good sailors sit to pee," Salud, Augusto Villalon S/V Gaucho

When you loose control of your saiboat, aim for the cheapest boat. So says Abilio Ramos of Blanca Rosa.

The last line from Pirates of the Caribbean: Now - bring me that horizon.
Sent in by Daryl Yeakle, s/v Q

Only a fool becomes embroiled in an argument on a singlehanded boat. - Skipper Neal

Mark Caplin writes:
Some of the best sailing advice I ever got was from an OCSC sailing instructor. He said. "If you're about to back into a dock, don't put it in forward and give it full throttle. You'll still hit the dock, but now you have a bunch of people watching you."

"To young men contemplating a voyage I would say go. The tales of rough usage are for the most part exaggerations, as also are the tales of sea danger. To face the elements is, to be sure, no light matter when the sea is in its grandest mood. You must then know the sea, and know that you know it, and not forget that it was made to be sailed over." - Joshua Slocum
Sent in by Eric White, Columbia 40 #10, Pelago, sailing out of Galesville, MD

"Sailing is like being in jail, but with the possibility of drowning!" - Sara Dornsife sent in by Richard Finlayson

"I thought of this one years ago, working in the depths of a very deep bilge. Applicable as well, to hanging over the stern, up in the rig." Hold the nut, turn the bolt.
Aloha, Tom Warren, Lahaina

A guy and his wife hop aboard the jitney outside Mystic Seaport. He tries to pay his fare when he discovers that the coin channel on the meter is clogged. Calmly, without oath, he takes a pocket knife out of his trousers, clears the jam, pays his fare and sits down.
"Are you a plumber?" the driver asks.
"Sailor," the guy responds.

Overheard on a windy day at a crowded anchorage: "You can observe a lot just by watching." Original quote is generally credited to Yogi Berra.
- Steve Harrington, Morning Calm, Pacific Seacraft 34

"When I was teaching boat handling in the Coast Guard we had a saying: Approaching a dock with a boat it is like approaching a woman in a bar - very seldom is a slow approach a poor approach." - Denis Mahoney

Only sailors are blown offshore. (Hey, I didn't say it - give JLKangley the credit for that one!)

In The Tao of Sailing, Ray Grigg writes: "Wind blows in one direction, but we want to go in another; wind blows there, but we want to stay here. Wind keeps getting in the way of made-up mind. So...change made-up mind to unmade-up mind."

Mike Bennett, Executive Director of the Astronomical Society of the Pacific in San Francisco, writes:
In what other sport can you be wet, cold, hungry, happy, seasick, and scared - all at the same time!

"That packet of assorted miseries which we call a ship." - Rudyard Kipling, submitted by Lee & Jackie Bartl

Advice from a favorite seafaring uncle:
"Be careful who you talk to about your sailing plans. Those who have abandoned their dreams will try to destroy yours."
And a more practical suggestion when I got my first skipper's job:
"There are three unbreakable commandments:
First, never mess with the owner's wife.
Second, never ever mess with the owner's daughter.
Third, never ever ever mess with the crew's paychecks."
Cheers, Jeremy Walker, Palo Alto

"I have a great medallion (on a chain) acquired somewhere long ago. It has a sailboat on the front and the back advises Pray to God, but row for shore." Mark Wieber, Emery Cove

Joe Rockmore sent this in: "If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood or assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." - Antoine de Saint Exupery

Doug Brown of the s/v Arwen Evenstar of London heard this quote 30 years ago "from a guy in MDR who was the biggest sailing BS'er in the marina: 'If you have to be somewhere by a certain date, you aren't cruising, you're racing.' It has proven to be 100% true."

"After a beach party in Isla Mujeres, I wrote this: Anchor tales, sailor brags. Wind blows, sailor drags." - Eldon McMullen

The ocean has the conscienceless temper of a savage autocrat spoiled by much adulation. - Joseph Conrad (sent in by Joe Rockmore)

From Garry Willis of Breezn from Marina del Rey:
I don't know the source but I keep it on my desk as a reminder.
"Sailing alone soothes me because the sea is fair, not cruel. It judges only your ability. It does not care who or what you are. It does not ask your age, color, sex, address, sexual orientation, education or IQ, but only your competence. It requires only that you can sail. If you can, you survive. If you can't, better stay ashore. That's fair, more fair than most of us experience on land...and refreshing."

Shirley Larsen sent us these:
For cruisers: Try to keep yourself at the top of the food chain. - Author unknown.
A sure cure for seasickness? Stand under a tree. - Robert Orr, Seattle.

Also on the subject of seasickness from WG Nokes: "Seasickness is the only malady from which you must recover to die." Evolved from "I'm too seasick to die."

"There is more to sailing than ropes and winches, cleats and bulging sails. There are faraway places and the ever changing light, and the silence, and a great peace at the bottom of your soul." - Ferenc Maté
"Dreams rarely come true in exactly the fashion hoped for. They usually don't come true worse - just different. It behooves all dreamers to be flexible." Latitude 38, March, 1992
"I have been dreaming about cruising for many years and getting close. I am looking forward to the 'just different' part."
Jay Ailworth, Strange Bird, Catalina 42 #692, www.strangebird.us
How circular; our print publication has been quoted by a reader in our cyber-publication.

Steve Moore found this one years ago, but doesn't remember where:
Let those who know not how to pray go to sea.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken main halyard and a leaky toilet valve.
It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to sneak out of port without filing a float plan, that's the time to do it.
If at first you don't succeed, singlehanded round-the-world ocean racing is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
The above were sent in by Phil Collins.

Another comment on the latter subject:
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Give a man a boat, he can not afford to eat again.
- Capt. Perseverance

Dan Spradlin on confusion: I have only one real caution to the folks I bring onboard: I say, "If it CAN get fouled, it WILL get fouled." This is in hopes that I can get the crew to clear the decks of effluvia.
Sounds like you could equally be referring to the marine head.

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark:
One: Don't miss the boat.
Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six: Build your future on high ground.
Seven: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
From Dominic Haigh

From a placard my wife posted in the head: "A gentleman sailor always sits."
From Burt McChesney, Chief of Staff, Lt. Governor Cruz M. Bustamante

Why sailors love the sea: Without it they would have to carry their boats.
Submitted by Ottar Friis "non-sailor - almost too old to get started"

Stuart Kiehl sent in this quote from Charles Schultz:
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Sounds like something Linus would have said. Writing 'Lectronic Latitude news stories about events down under always presents a temporal syntax challenge.

Adventure is never much fun while it's happening. - unknown (submitted by John Bousha)

The sailors with the most time get the best weather.
From Padre Timo, doing The 'Baja Bash'

As an engineer and a sailor I came up with this about 30 years ago and kept it posted on my office door for years. It certainly applies to sailboats and anything else! 'In all systems, as complexity approaches infinity, mean time between failures drops to zero.' - Stephen Streib

After taking a lightning strike while below deck, and two feet from the keel-stepped mast, I offer these words regarding lightning: 'If you can hear it, fear it. If you can see it, flee it'. - Evan Williams, Sur Lees

I once knew an old gent who had had quite the illustrious life. I asked him what he'd done with his money. He immediately said: "Most of my money I spent on boats and women. The rest I squandered." - Roy Myers, s/v Minx of Fairhaven, currently in Newport Beach

Quoth Captain Nemo in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne, "Professor, I'm not what you call a civilized man. I am finished with society for reasons I alone can appreciate. I don't obey its laws, and I suggest you never again refer to them again in my presence!" (Thanks to Mark Ramos)

From Jim Leech of Neil Pryde Sails:
One of my favorite Irish proverbs is "If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there." And for those considering lending tools to the guy down the dock, "A borrowed saw cuts anything."

These silly thoughts are by Jim Borgman, Kismet, Catalina 36, Emeryville:
If it falls out of the bird, it will land on your deck. (Or, put another way, physics cannot explain the powerful gravitational attraction between fiberglass and birdshit.)
Sailors do it between the sheets.
Borgman's Head Motto: If you didn't drink it, don't flush it.
Nothing Lasts. Borgman's Proofs: Mylar headsails. Varnish. Beer.
Borgman's Contraries: Your first overnight sail. Your last place finish. Your first wife's name on your transom.
Borgman counted 15 blackbirds frolicking noisily upon spreaders from which dangled a menacing plastic owl.

A sailing rockstar? Attributed to David Lee Roth by David Paul: "Money can't buy you happiness. But it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it."

The definitive quote about boating comes from Rat in Kenneth Grahame's Novel, Wind in the Willows: "There is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats." Thanks to Sanders LaMont for reminding us of it.

While we're quoting the literati, it was JRR Tolkien who said, "Not all who wander are lost." - Submitted by Richard Finlayson

Calvin Chase quotes a PT boat skipper on Tulagi: "We have done so much with so little for so long we can do anything with nothing."
Brian Mitchell says the full quote is: "We the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing." Brian adds that it's been attributed to everyone from mercenaries in Africa during the '50s to Mother Theresa. "It is pretty safe to assume the original author probably will never be known."

Jerry Mennis writes: A friend of mine was sitting on his 25-ft sailboat at the dock when a dockwalker asked is he ever takes his boat out of the marina and over the bar. My friend said 'yes' and the d.w. asked, "How far do you go?" My friend said, "Till half your beer is gone!"

From Gary Scharf: "When I die, I want to go quietly, in my sleep; like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers." - Author unknown

"I don't drive another man's car, boat, or wife." That philosophy has kept me alive and still friendly with many a good friend over the years. I still recall some advice given about how to make it feel that your drink is cool when there is no ice when down in Mexico. Just plunk some nuts and bolts in the drink and occasionaly shake it up for the ice-like clinking sound. - John Perkins, Daytona Beach, FL

Could apply to yacht racing: "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte (sent in by LS from the Delta)

From one of my favorite Antigua Sailing Week t-shirts: "My drinking team has a sailing problem!" - Greg Sherwood of 'Imi Loa in SF
I think we ran a photo of that shirt in Latitude somewhere, but don't ask me when.

Etymology
NAVIGATION: Check into the roots of the word - one root translation reads, Navigation: "Sacrifices to the Sea" - Mark Brady, Humboldt Bay, S/V Synapse

CANNON BALLS: In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon, but prevent them from rolling about the deck. The best storage method devised was a square based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of thirty cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem - how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey," with sixteen round indentations. If this plate was made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make "Brass Monkeys." Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the cannon balls would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey!" - via friendly spam

In an effort to debunk the 'brass monkeys' story, Ralph Ahseln of Gresham, OR, writes, "There are NO references to 'Brass Monkey' in any nautical reference book available today. There are no words even close to it. Therefore, assume it never existed as a nautical term. The device that held ammunition on board was most likely wooden, sometimes rope. A BRASS device would be unlikely to be placed on the decks of a fighting ship. Brass would have been a poor choice of materials. The 'holders' were called many things, primarily a 'shot garland', sometimes called a 'shot grommet'. Which brings us to the real problem with the Brass Monkey story: Ammunition aboard those vessels was called either 'bombs' or 'shells' if they exploded, or 'shot' if they didn't explode. There was round shot, bar shot, chain shot, case shot, cross bar shot, langrel shot . . . So the old silly saying would have been 'It was cold enough to freeze the round shot off a wooden shot garland.' Kind of loses something in the translation, doesn't it?"

In an effort to debunk Ralph's debunking of the 'brass monkeys' story, Gregory Sherwood of s/v Imi Loa writes, "Page 43 of Robert McKenna's book The Dictionary of Nautical Literacy states:
Brass monkey, a metal frame laid on the deck of a ship to help contain the bottom layer of a stack of cannon balls. The phrase 'cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey' meant that in extremely cold temperatures the brass frame shrank more than the iron cannon balls, and the stack would collapse.
Sorry Ralph!"

Bob Bell of Andiamo wrties, "From truth or fiction Web site: According to the United States Navy Historical Center, this is a legend of the sea without historical justification. The center has researched this because of the questions it gets and says the term 'brass monkey' and a vulgar reference to the effect of cold on the monkey's extremities, appears to have originated in the book Before the Mast by C.A. Abbey. It was said that it was so cold that it would 'freeze the tail off a brass monkey.' The Navy says there is no evidence that the phrase had anything to do with ships or ships with cannon balls."

On docking and launching...
A successful docking is one that you can sail away from.
The ease and success of launching and docking is inversely proportional to the number of witnesses.
When sailing, the number of dockings should equal the number of launches.
The motor, if it starts, always runs while the boat is tied to the dock. If it doesn't start, there's people watching.
If anything is dropped on the dock, only the most expensive or irreplaceable items will fall into the water [like your keys!].
How do you instantly draw a large, impatient crowd of motor boaters at a launching ramp? Bring a sailboat.
Docking under power in a motorboat is normal. Docking under sail is an adventure.
The frequency in changes in the wind is inversely proportional to the proximity to the dock.
If there are any children or PWCs in the area, they will all congregate at the dock as you approach.
Respectfully submitted by Lee Högman of the Mac 21 Cool Change

A simple explanation of how sailing works from Bill Schafer of the Olson 25 Ohana:
"I am an engineer by training, and a sailor at heart. We have trained many crew on Ohana. When trying to explain how sails work and get across the concept of the sail shape needed, I often retort with, 'Sails don't blow, they suck!' This usually gets the point across for why we need to optimize the wing shape for lift, and they seem to remember it."

Shari Cottrell sent this in, and I remember seeing it on a No Fear t-shirt and liking it then:
If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space!

Patrick Maguire has observed that,
"Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, much of that comes from bad judgment."

"Enjoyed the few postings I read so far; here is something I often tell myself when I get stuck: There is no shortage of solutions, just a shortage of imagination."
- Dave Yearsley, the Petaluma Riverkeeper

Michael Cobbald sent us these quotes:
"Loneliness is the penalty of leadership, but the man who has to make decisions is assisted greatly if he feels that there is no uncertainly in the minds of those who follow him, and that his orders will be carried out confidently and in expectation of success."
- Sir Ernest Shackleton, from the journals of his last expedition to Antarctica

While riding on a tortoise, the snail said "WHEEEE!"
From Joe on Bondo Tram

Dick Herman sent us two very basic rules stolen years ago from the "Hog Log" at the 512 TFS, Ramstein, Germany:
1. The important things are always simple.
2. The simple things are aways hard.

Nick Rouy submits:
I was so sick I thought I was going to die. I then became terrified I wouldn't.

"Never worry about stepping on anyone's toes. People who get their toes stepped on are standing still or sitting down on the job." - Admiral Arleigh "31 knot" Burke, USN

From Joseph Conrad:
"The true peace of God begins a thousand miles from the nearest land"
For one that goes back a few centuries, from Lecky's Wrinkles:
"There is nothing so distressing as running ashore, unless there is also doubt as to which continent the shore belongs."
W.H.Tillman has many good ones. Some of my favorites can be found in his Sailing/Mountain Exploration books.
"To furnish a wife will cost you much trouble, but to fit-out a ship the expenses are double." Perhaps no longer PC, but being non-PC in this day in age can be a lot of fun. While Tillman was trying to find crew for a sailing/climbing expedition to the Kerguelen Islands in 1959, he had this to say, "Why attempt to drag five other misguided men halfway across the world when it is obvious that most of our present-day troubles come from men not staying quietly in their room at home? But upon visiting Mischief to see how things are going, such weak thoughts are speedily banished. She and her kind were never built so that men should stay quietly at home. She breathes sturdy eager confidence, a living embodiment of the truth that the sea is for sailing, that strenuousness is the immortal path and sloth the way of death"!
Oh Baby, I just love that last sentence.
- Courtesy David Eberhard
S/V Valkyrie

Captain Jack Curley of Trinidad writes:
I am... slave to a 41 foot ketch in which I set sail for oceans west in 1982 from Santa Barbara. I have been collecting "quotable quotes" for many years and was pleased to learn of your Web page from my former First Mate, now Captain of the ketch Tevake. Here is Kulkuri's (my magic carpet) motto, which I copied from an article in a glossy yachting mag more than 20 years ago and which I write at the opening of each year's new log: "There is never any excuse to put the comfort of the crew above the safety of the vessel."
And from Tevake in Jacksonville, FL: "Remember, paradise is exactly like where you are right now; only much, much better."
Fair winds and foul friends - J W Curley
I love Captain Jack's closing salutation - sure beats "Sincerely"!

From Jim and Ann Cate, s/v Insatiable:
Want to make Neptune laugh? Tell him your cruising plans!

William Arthur Ward said:
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails." - J.V.

From Luis de Camoes, a Portuguese poet that wrote about the great sea odysseys of the XV century:
Original - "Navegar e preciso, viver nao e preciso"
Translation - "Navigation is necessary, life is not."
- Luiz Schechter

Stan Wieg writes about the above quote: "I think maybe that translation should be 'Navigation is precise; life is not.' - it certainly describes my life if not my navigation."

Luiz Schechter replies: "About the second translation, Stan Wieg is 100% correct. Both translations deserve to be mentioned side by side, for the double meaning was certainly Luis de Camoes actual intention."

Tami Shelton sends in quotes from a coupla Davids:
"It ain't sailin' if ya ain't breakin' shit." - David Beale, Ocean Springs, Mississippi, on racing beach catamarans.
"Prepare to mount the mark!" - David Tilley, Franklin, Louisiana, during a race when he looked up to realize they were headed straight for a rounding buoy.

Zen Philosophy sent in by Cathy Paulsen:
"Never test the depth of the water with both feet."

Attributed to Sharon Green, Sailing Photographer:
"Sailing is not carried out against the elements, but because of them."

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