“I Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass”

We weren’t sure whether to laugh or shudder when we read Carl J. Carlson’s report on a most unwelcome midnight visitor. In the end, we did both.

"I anchored my 40-ft Catana Paradox in Barra de Navidad for a week in March while my wife went home to do tax paperwork and see the kids," he tells us. "One night I got up to pee and sat down on the bowl in the dark, as I usually do to avoid making a mess. I suddenly felt a scratching around my private areas! I jumped up and turned on the light to find a rat struggling for its life in the saltwater in the head. After examining myself to insure I hadn’t suffered any damage to my family jewels, I drowned the rat and threw him overboard. I did notice that he had scratched off most of the calcium stains that had collected around the base of the bowl, which I had been meaning to clean. I set some traps but never did catch any other rats, and the only food damaged was a box of ramen noodles that had been chewed through. I guess the salt made him thirsty and he tried to drink the water in the toilet bowl and fell in. I heard from other sailors that snakes as well as rats can swim in the lagoon and crawl up the anchor rode. My advice is to keep the toilet cover down when in Barra!"

Do you have any tips for keeping unwelcome guests — from roaches to relatives — off your boat? We’d love to hear them!